Perimenopause doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens while women are managing careers, families, relationships, leadership responsibilities, and, increasingly, workplaces that are asking more from fewer people.
When organizations lay people off and expect the employees who remain to absorb the workload, something has to give. As a therapist (and as a woman), I see how difficult it can be for other women to recognize that they have reached their limit, especially when they have spent years being the dependable one, the problem-solver, or the person who can always “handle it.”
Perimenopause can add another layer. Research has found that symptoms such as fatigue, sleep disruption, difficulty concentrating, memory problems and emotional changes can affect women’s experiences at work. Workplace stressors, including job insecurity, dissatisfaction and feeling undervalued, can also make it harder to cope with these symptoms.
This is why boundaries during perimenopause aren’t selfish, and they aren’t a sign that someone is becoming less committed to their career. Sometimes a boundary sounds like, “I can take this on, but something else needs to come off my plate.” Sometimes it means saying no to another unrealistic deadline, taking a break without guilt, asking for flexibility, or recognizing that constantly working beyond capacity isn’t sustainable.
We often talk about resilience as though it is an individual responsibility. But resilience has limits when someone is chronically exhausted, understaffed, undervalued or carrying responsibilities that realistically belong to several people.
Therapy can be a place to explore that distinction: What am I actually responsible for? What have I been conditioned to tolerate? Where am I over-functioning? And what would it look like to set boundaries without feeling guilty?
Perimenopause can be a transition, but it can also be an opportunity to rethink the ways we’ve been taught to work, care for others, and measure our worth.
Sometimes the healthiest boundary is recognizing that “I can” doesn’t always mean “I should.”
