“I Don’t Feel Like Myself”: Understanding Identity Loss in PMDD

“I don’t feel like myself.”

For many people living with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), this isn’t just a passing thought; it’s one of the most painful parts of the condition. Beyond the mood changes, anxiety, or irritability, PMDD can create the unsettling experience of feeling disconnected from your own identity. Many describe becoming a version of themselves they don’t recognize for days or weeks each month, only to feel like themselves again once symptoms subside. This cycle can leave people questioning who they really are and wondering whether they can trust their own thoughts and emotions.

Research is beginning to validate what so many people with PMDD have long described. In a recent study, researcher Megan Buys explored the experiences of individuals who had reached a place of recovery or effective management of PMDD. Participants frequently described feeling as though PMDD created a divide between their “real self” and the person they became during symptomatic phases. Rather than simply viewing PMDD as a collection of symptoms, the study highlights how it can disrupt a person’s sense of identity, relationships, and confidence. Importantly, participants also described how developing greater self-understanding, receiving validation, and finding appropriate treatment helped them rebuild a more integrated sense of self.

This perspective is so important in therapy. When someone says, “I don’t know who I am anymore,” they may not simply be describing low mood; they may be grieving the temporary loss of connection to themselves. Therapy can offer a space to make sense of these experiences, reduce shame, identify cyclical patterns, and separate one’s identity from the symptoms of PMDD. Through compassionate support and evidence-informed care, many people begin to recognize that the thoughts and feelings that emerge during PMDD are not the whole story of who they are.

No one should have to navigate that loss of self alone. While PMDD can profoundly affect emotional wellbeing, identity, and relationships, recovery is possible. With the right combination of therapeutic support, medical care, and self-understanding, many people find they are not discovering a new version of themselves, but are reconnecting with the person who was there all along.

Read the full study here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/09593535231223915